I heard about it on the radio on my way into town this morning, the cover of the new issue of Time is “Mission NOT Accomplished.” There’s a subtitle there that I can’t make out, but the radio advertisement was basically selling it as a full explication of why the war went so terribly, terribly badly. I’m not sure what planet these people live on… In my quest to find reliable and useful news outlets reporting on the state of reconstruction and civil affairs in free Iraq, I’ve run across this index of reconstruction news from the Engineering News-Record, via Glenn. Useful information, if you actually care how things are going over there.

I got back from Chicago at about noon today, deloused from the drive and ran off to get to work. It was a positively outstanding trip. When I left work Friday evening, it was raining like the Dickens, and so I got home saturated from socks to skivvies. Threw the clothes in the dryer and started packing my stuff. I had addresses of the people I was going to see and a quarter page map of Chicago, so I figured I was gonna need some more help. Stopped in at my favorite watering hole to get better directions from the bartender, a friend of mine from Chicago. Left there with an idea of where I was going and a detailed map of Chicago for when I got lost.

Made it into Chicago without problem, the rain let up about thirty miles south of Kankakee, and found Nick’s apartment building immediately. It was then, about ten minutes after getting into the city that I realized that parking in Chi-Town really, really sucks. Ended up convincing the manager at a monthly parking garage to give me an overnight spot with in-out privileges, with the help of Andrew Jackson. Turned out those in-out privileges would be useful, as Nick had left a note for me to go to a bar halfway across town. I get to the place without too much trouble, just took a little getting used to the taxi drivers, who believe they have the ability to morph the laws of vehicular traffic as though living in The Matrix. Soon I learned to be as cavalier about driving on the wrong side of the street and squeezing through gaps between cars the size of my car, give or take the depth of a few stacked up letter-sized envelopes.

Found the place, a Bistro on Kedzie, and found Nick inside. We sat down and watched the stand-up comics performing there. After two had gotten up and sat down, Nick was called up there for his turn. Yep, Nick’s a real-life comedian now, and I got to see his act. I laughed like balls until I pissed like a racehorse. There were about ten comedians with 8 minutes each and afterwards the audience voted for their favorite. At the end of the night, it was announced that Nick tied for first with a dude named T.J. whose act I’d missed. They went up on stage for a few jokes and that was that. The headliners were OK, although a bit too edgier for my blood. They were a notch above performers in blackface, if you know what I mean. Messed around for the rest of the night, eventually ending up at a very interesting four-o’clock bar called Exit Chicago. Buds were $4, but you pay for the atmosphere, ya know?

Saturday I ate lunch at Nick’s work then spent the day at the Field Museum, taking five hours to see every exhibit. Most of it seemed a bit cutesier than I’d expected and aimed towards the kids, and a few exhibits seemed guilty of Noble Savage Woship, but I learned a whole lot about plants. There were plenty of kids around the Dinosaurs, which is the only thing I remember about my visit to Chicago when I was a kid, aside from thinking the cab drivers were insane. (Not much changed there).

After that, I walked around Soldier Field, where the Rededication ceremony had taken place when I arrived in that general area. Something funny, when I was climbing up the stairs to the field museum, I turned around to see what everyone was looking up to see. Some airplanes were flying over the stadium in the missing man formation. Overheard from a young woman nearby: I guess that one ran out of gas.

Anyways, they were cleaning up from the ceremony at Soldier Field and I stopped at one of the concession stands and got a free Chicago hot dog from a nice lady. Walked the three or four miles back to where I’d parked at the McCormick center for $14, then sat in traffic on Clark street heading to the Metro for the Bouncing Souls concert. The Metro is right across from Wrigley field, and during baseball games parking is severely restricted around the area. Took me an hour and a half to give up and park on Lincoln and Addison, about 12 blocks West of Wrigley. I’d been listening to the Illinois v. Wisconsin game on the car radio and heard that the Cubs had won the second game of their double header and thus clinched a playoff spot. On my walk from Lincoln to Clark, there was not a car without its horn lain on. Thousands of joyful Chicagoans were all over the place celebrating like mad. Overheard from a fan to a policeman: this is gonna be nothing compared to the world series! To say the least, Dusty’s got those fans feeling confident. Imagine their rotation has something to do with it too. In any case, I was right there in the middle of it for a pretty historical event in the lives of many Chicagoans. Cubs clinched a playoff berth, and I was standing at Clark & Addison with singing enemy all around me. Eventually found the Metro and my friends were there, so we went in and got some beers. The concert was great, my first real punk show. Three bands, all very good. The middle one was called Tsunami and the Bouncing Souls went last. The first one was pretty lively too, but I forgot their name. During the Bouncing Souls set, the lead singer said something in between songs like, “You guys are probably like us and real pissed off about what our government and military are doing right now!” to shouts of woo! and a few middle fingers pointed their way, notably by the huge dudes in front of me. Noticed one of them later was wearing a Marine Corps t-shirt and had a military ID when he bought a beer. He and his fellow marine seemed to be having a good time in spite of being insulted by the band on stage, but nonetheless I thanked them both for their service after the show and told them I appreciated what the men and women of the armed forces had done over there. I thought it would have been a stupid thing to say to some strangers after a punk show and that these dudes might kick my skull in, but it turns out that they were genuinely appreciative to hear it and we shook hands and thanked one another, me to them for sacrificing their time and safety to bury our enemies, and they to me for noticing it, I guess. Least I could do.

After the show, my we met up with Nick and hit a few bars, eating some chicago style pizza at a place called D’Agastinos, then going somewhere else where Nick met a very friendly waitress. My friends who went to the concert with me were tired and so they left, then Nick and I took off at closing time and headed back to his crib.

The next day, I checked out the Lincoln Park Zoo that’s right next to Nick’s apartment. Nice place, saw a lot of animals that wished it weren’t so cold out. Except for the penguins and puffins, but they were inside. But not in nearly as badass quarters as their cousins in St. Louis reside. Saw the zoo, Nick had to go to class, and I headed off to meet Ally for lunch. She had just moved into her new condo, and so we explored the neighborhood a bit. Ate at a great Mexican restaurant, then drank some Belvedere and Franziskaner at the Green Mile, a bar that Al Capone used to frequent. Also, Bob Dylan, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and some other people used the same head as I did, according to the graffiti in there. Nice place. I decided to stay one more night so I could see the places she likes to hang out at; we took it easy since she’s training for the Marathon in a few weeks. Finished the night with Mexican leftovers and a pretty corny movie called Identity. Up early the next morning, a few cups of coffee, and off I was, driving South on Lake Shore Drive, heading out of town, or something like that.

There are no US Marines in Iraq. The last ones left Najaf a short while ago, turning over control to a Spanish led coalition of Latin American forces. Here’s a report from returning Marines about the situation in Najaf. And there’s an Iraqi newspaper online and in English translation, here’s one of their articles about the problems being faced at the DMV. Their reporting is a little slow, looking around their homepage, but it beats the hell out of the reporting we’re getting stateside–real news about what’s happening, instead of only reports of injured or murdered coalition soldiers.

Jeff’s got some thoughts about the Cards offseason. I’m not going to make a long post about it until after the postseason is over, and I’ll spend the whole time saying things like, “Edmonds would have caught that ball,” and “Mike DeJean would matchup better against this fucker.” I’ll say this though, he neglects to mention that we’ll have Chris Carpenter back and healthy, and he’s easily a quality 3rd starter. The bullpen needs to be repaired badly, and depending on how Isringhausen’s shoulder looks, we might have to pick up a closer. I like Jimmy Journell’s stuff and expect him to be up next year, but his fastball, although very good, is not closer material. I don’t know that we’ll have to deal one of our outfielders. Jim Edmonds we have signed long-term, and it would take a big-time starter for us to deal Drew. I’m also not the Cal Eldred fan that Jeff is. He’s had some real good outings, where he stops the bleeding, but he’s also gone out with a fresh inning and given up three runs on no outs. Russ Springer is also there in the bullpen. Frankly, I’d like to see almost the exact same team go out there, with a Williams, Morris, Carpenter, Springer, Tomko rotation and the lineup we had this year. Deal some of the bullpen away for minor leaguers and pickup a solid closer. Move Izzy into a setup role where he won’t have to pitch so much.

LGF readers are throwing a bash in London and the IndyMedia folks plan to scry it. If you don’t read LGF, then you should start now. Thanks to MCJ for pointing that out.

I came in to work today to find my office full of people. There were three different trades represented in there, they told me. The office room I work in all by myself was cut in half over the summer. The other side is being made into a server room and so it has to be kept at 68 degrees for the machines to run optimally. Consequently an entirely dedicated cooling system has to be built for that room, and all the ductwork over my head is being rerouted or removed. Also, I wasn’t able to get in here to do any of my work until now. And I’m leaving by five since I’m going to Chicago this weekend to see the Bouncing Souls concert and some friends of mine up there. I’m expecting this to be an outstanding weekend. One of the people I’m seeing is my oldest friend Nick, who I started hanging out with in the fifth grade. He’s also the funniest bastard I know, the proud songwriter of the Willy McGee song, sung to the tune of Me and Bobby McGee as well as an assortment of songs devoted to Chewbacca. It’s probable that I’ll come back on Sunday with severely aching ribs and a hunchback from being doubled over in laughter all weekend. Or maybe I’ll just get lost and start brawling drunken Cubs fans, who I expect to be out in hordes. That’s gonna friggin’ blow. Well, I’m gonna get as much work done as I can before heading out. No posting ’til Sunday, unless I really do get lost and end up in a holiday inn.

The only dart game I ever play is cricket, so I don’t know exactly how this game is scored, but I know how hard it is to hit your spots like that. Check out this video. Thanks go to Jeff for finding it and posting it on his brand spankin’ new blog.

Have a feeling some of you might get a kick out of this. The rest of that blog is real good too. Twas my first time there.

The Cards won, but so did the Cubs, so our magic number to elimination is down to 1. And we have tomorrow off, so we could be eliminated on a travel day to AZ. No good. This weekend is looking to be a pretty good one. I’ve contacted both friends I’ll be seeing in Chicago, Nick ended up finding me. ‘sgonna be fun.

You wanna hear about a travesty? The read this: Matheny, LaRussa, and Dave Duncan have all been suspended and fined for not taking Jerry Crawford’s shit last weekend. It’s as though the MLB were being run by the French, as in the nursery rhyme included in this fine column:

Cet animal est trop mechant
Quand on l’attaque il se defend!

(This beast is quite mischievous
For, when attacked, it defends itself!)

And the Cubs are in first place? I’m ready for hockey, dang blast.

Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey (ret) has added a pretty neat flash intro to his website, which you should go check out. The rest of his website is fairly hideous, although there’s a nice slideshow of his trip to the USS Nimitz and I’d very much dig one of those Bobble Head Dolls.

My pal Chris made an amazing discovery. Middle Earth and the Middle East are one and the same. Here’s what he emailed me:

>
Pretty irrefutable evidence if you ask me. By the way, the guy on the left is Saruman (Christopher Lee), a corrupted wizard and the other is the leader of the TERRORIST group Hamas, Sheik Yassin.

I’m heading up to Chicago this weekend to see the Bouncing Souls at the Metro. That’s my excuse. The main purpose is to see some friends who have lived up there for quite some time without a visit from me. I’ve found one of them, but am having a heck of a time finding Nick. His old cell phone number doesn’t work, which makes sense since it would have been long distance for anyone there to call him on it. I saw that he’s been doing some stand-up comedy, but don’t see anything listed for this weekend. He’s not listed in the phone book. The only thing I can figure out is to call his work and see if he’s there or if they’ll give me his address. He used to work at Chili’s and there’s only one in the city of Chicago. I’m still trying to get a call through to his parents, but they don’t really answer their phone with any regularity. That would be too easy anyways. A clever dick like me should have no problem hunting him down.

HOLY SMOKES!!! New site redesign and everything. See what a little teasing can accomplish?

Head over to One Hand Clapping and read down until your eyes fall out. As of now, he’s got a post up called “You know you’re an old soldier when…” and I conclude that I’m neither. I bet my dad would get a laugh out of that stuff. Then there’s some stuff about France and a link to Chief Wiggles very own no overhead Toys for (Iraqi) Tots program, which I plan to contribute to and would have linked a few days ago if I weren’t such a lazy sumbitch.

I have so much to look forward to.

Here‘s a pretty wild story: This woman goes out in her garage to get something from her car and finds a bear out there. The bear chases her into her house, bites her a bunch of times, then she grabbed it’s nose and yelled at it. The bear left, and she cleans up the blood so her daughter wouldn’t see it when she would get home. Read the whole article. The best line: she was talking on the phone at the time and dropped it. Not wanting her friend to be worried, she yelled out, “It’s only a bear.”

They didn’t go so long as Nick without new content, but Happy Fun Pundit has updated. And the villagers throughout the land were made content.

I see the Human Torque Wrench is not the only real-life power tool themed super hero out there.

My ribs and back hurt from breaking in the new bat and gloves last night. I’d say it was well worth it. The bar we went to afterwards ran out of Paulaner I think, because what I got was fruitier and with a lighter body. Today cleaned up the crib somewhat and read. Watched the Cards beat the ‘Stros and the Rams lose to the Seahawks in the final minute of the game. Got a phone call from my mom, who’d been on a retreat over the weekend. Great weekend. Next Friday, I’m heading up to Chicago to see some friends and a concert. In between, lots of work and learning to do.